A Note from Alicia: Teaching Is a Prayer

Dear Nursery School Families, 

It has been a tradition in our school, since we opened our doors, for the teachers and children to receive a blessing at the beginning of the school year. Through this act, we acknowledge publicly that we hold teachers and the work of the classroom to be sacred. This is also reflected in the way teachers speak about their work. We think of teaching as a calling, and we come to the classroom with a deep and abiding devotion to children and a fundamental belief in education as an act of weaving hope one day at a time, one lesson at a time, one relationship at a time. We believe, to our core, in the potential for our interactions with children today to make the world better tomorrow. Teaching is a prayer that we live daily. 

Classrooms are supposed to be the safest places, where children are free to take emotional and intellectual risks because they are secure in knowing that the walls where their easel paintings hang represent an inviolable shelter for learning and growth. Schools are not separate from the world; rather they are places where children can express and come to understand their deepest feelings and their biggest questions about the complex world in which they live. Classroom conversations nurture the earliest acts of citizenship, and in order for schools to do this work on behalf of our collective future, they must be places where children can look out the windows at the world as it is, and turn back to us to share their questions, their worries, and their imaginings, knowing they are safe. We do this work because we believe in children’s ideas, and we believe in the power of transforming imagination into reality. As educators, we see today’s block buildings and easel paintings as tomorrow’s promise.     

Teaching is an act of love and hope. Yet the reality of teaching in America today is that it is also an act of heroism. It should not need to be. As teachers, we routinely prepare for the most frightening scenarios, so that we are ready to respond and equipped to keep children safe. And, to the greatest extent possible, we put this knowledge and training to the back of our minds every morning so that we can sustain the very hope that drew us to this work. We do this because we love children and because the sadness and fear of the world outside our classroom windows only makes our commitment to our work and to children more necessary and more urgent.  

Cumulatively, teachers receive as much active shooter preparation in the course of their careers as literacy training. Perhaps more. This is necessary, as are all of the other steps we take to make schools “hard targets.” We spend time and resources that could be devoted to improving our teaching practice and our school libraries on “hardening” ourselves and our classrooms. We do this because we must. We do this because, when a society does not prioritize the safety of its children, it is left to those who are called to devote themselves to children’s care to reinforce the barricades and to put our bodies in harm's way. We do this because we know that the safe spaces of our classrooms must be preserved, and it is on us as educators and schools to preserve them. It should not be so.      

No matter the turbulence of the world, teachers are beacons of calm. They receive our children each day and usher them into joyful and inviting classrooms. They bolster the many routines that let children know they are safe and valued. When the world makes us, as parents, feel harried and unsteady, watching teachers welcome our children with unwavering warmth strengthens us. As our children are reassured by their teachers, we are also reassured.  

When I went to sleep last night, eighteen children had been pronounced dead in Texas. Eighteen children and their teacher. Eighteen is a sacred number in Jewish tradition. It represents life and reminds us of our blessings. I went to sleep thinking about these eighteen sacred children’s lives and the teacher whose body was not enough to shield them. When I woke up this morning, a nineteenth child and a second teacher had been lost. It is wrenching to find meaning in these losses when we are faced with them so often. And yet we must, because it is only in finding meaning that we are motivated to action. Teachers know this. The work of finding meaning and translating that meaning into action is the work of the classroom on the brightest and on the darkest days. As we find meaning with children, we ask them what they can do to sustain and build upon joyful experiences, and we ask them what they can do to repair and build anew when harm has been done.

The only way to find meaning in this loss, and in the many losses that have preceded it – including the lives lost in Buffalo and on our own New York City subways so recently – is to commit to action and to doing better. We teach our children that we are all responsible for the work of repairing our world. Enough of this burden has been placed on the shoulders of children and teachers, as we instruct them, in classrooms around the country, to shelter behind barricaded doors. We need everyone to share the responsibility of repairing the world that children, teachers, and parents have been holding alone for far too long.   

We need far more than prayer. But prayer, at its most meaningful and powerful, should serve to remind us of our values and to call us to live them. Prayer must not be an appeasement. It is meant to be a deep, internal call to action, a call to work for what is sacred and precious. We bless our teachers and our children each year, because, at the JCC, we opened our doors for the first time only days after 9/11, and we needed to be reminded that classrooms can be safe places and that the work we do is the work of peace. This blessing offered teachers and parents the courage, not to pause, but to go forward in that work.

Amen means “so be it.” Let us, today, hear this not as an acceptance of reality or a hollow platitude, but as a reminder to insist upon the peace we wish for our children and to do the work to achieve that peace.
  

For our teachers
And our students
And for the students of our students
I ask for peace and
Lovingkindness.
And let us say, amen. 

And for those who study Torah 
Here and everywhere:
May you be blessed with all
You need
And let us say, amen.

May there be peace and
Lovingkindness
And let us say, amen.*


So be it.

The JCC will be co-hosting a short candlelight vigil this evening at 7:15 PM with Congregation B’nai Jeshurun and The Church of St. Paul and St. Andrew (SPSA), that will take place on the steps of SPSA on 86th St and West End Ave, if you would like to join us. 

Additionally, please find resources below for helping children feel safe, when they may be observing strong reactions among adults or experiencing frightening images in the media around them.   

In sadness and hope,
Alicia 

Parenting Resources

Sesame Street in Communities
National Association of School Psychologists
Repair the World


Picture Books

Wemberly Worried by Kevin Henkes
I Will Keep You Safe and Sound by Lori Haskins Houran
Something Might Happen by Helen Lester
Bear Feels Scared by Karma Wilson
Safe, Warm, and Snug by Stephen Swinburne

*The above blessing is the kaddish d’rabanan, also known as the scholar’s kaddish, the kaddish of the rabbis, or the kaddish of the teachers, adapted by Debbie Friedman.

A Note from Alicia: Finding Hope in Community

Dear Nursery School Families, 

As we’ve all watched the terrifying events unfold at Congregation Beth Israel in Texas this weekend, I find myself struck, as a parent and a teacher, by how relentlessly we seem to be called to carry our children through a frightening world – to somehow raise them to be hopeful and courageous when it can seem endlessly challenging to hold onto those values ourselves. 

Parenting demands hope, not only for our children’s sake but for our own. We have to be able to hold onto the belief that we can heal the world, at least a little bit, before we must ask our children to let go of our hands and navigate it themselves. And we have to believe that they are capable of continuing that work of repair, so that we can feel we are moving toward something brighter ahead. Parenting, after all, is an act of love – love for our children and love for the world we have chosen to bring them into.     

We’ve been immersed over the past two years in the constant buzzing anxiety of an ongoing pandemic, punctuated by moments of heartbreaking violence. We seem at times to be suspended in a state of perpetual fragility. It is hard to guide our children through the world each day when we feel so fragile ourselves. 

The parenting wisdom most commonly cited in these moments is the simple advice Mr. Rogers’ mother gave him when he was young and the world seemed scary. She said, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” Yet, as we have to draw upon these words again and again, it sometimes feels hard to find sufficient solace in them. It feels sometimes like all the help just isn’t enough. And yet we were reminded powerfully today, by both the rescue of the hostages and the rising tide of love and solidarity from communities far beyond Texas, that these words still hold profound strength, for our children and for us. Not only did over 200 local, state, and federal responders ultimately rescue the hostages and restore safety, but communities around the world rose up with messages of support and vigil. 

I found myself thinking today of the father in Paris, who reassured his son, in the wake of violence, by explaining that all the flowers and candles being laid down by strangers were protective. The little boy recognized that flowers and candles were not more powerful than guns, and yet he was reassured nonetheless, as we all are, because these symbols, and the magnitude of their offering, remind us that we are not alone, that there is always strength in coming together, and that we can always create light in darkness. As we light candles with our children each week on Shabbat, as well as in moments of fear, we remind ourselves of this and of how very bright the light becomes when so many candles are lit at once. 

When the children’s author, Kate DiCamillo, contemplated the power of Charlotte’s Web to draw young readers in again and again, despite the story’s sadness, she said:

"I have tried for a long time to figure out how E.B. White did what he did, how he told the truth and made it bearable…the only answer I could come up with was love. E.B. White loved the world. And in loving the world, he told the truth about it – its sorrow, its heartbreak, its devastating beauty. He trusted his readers enough to tell them the truth, and with that truth came comfort and a feeling that we were not alone."

And isn’t this exactly what we are asked to do as parents – to continue to love the world in all its heartbreak and all its beauty and to remind ourselves and our children that they are not alone, that somehow there is always hope and reason for gratitude, as long as we continue to come together to offer help and comfort.

As the children come to school each day, they come into a community filled with helpers, from the security officers who work tirelessly to keep them safe, to the teachers in their classrooms who guide them through their toughest questions and biggest feelings, to the friends who gather around to wipe their tears and lend a hand when they are sad or angry. They go home each day to families that love them and parents who rock them in the middle of the night when they are afraid. And each day, as our children are surrounded by all these helpers and empowered to be helpers themselves, the world is made bearable, and we all heal a little.

Please join us in community prayer, reflection, and healing this afternoon at 5:30 PM by clicking here.

In peace and hope,
Alicia

A Note from Alicia on the Events of January 6th

Dear Nursery School Families, 

When I sat down to write this note earlier today, it was supposed to be about our return to school health survey. I will send the link to the health survey as well as a link to upload test results tomorrow. However, having watched such frightening events unfold in our capital today, it feels imperative to instead pause and take this moment to acknowledge what we have witnessed.

It has been difficult to stop and reflect this year. So much in the operational pace of each day has felt urgent and unrelenting. But we must all stop tonight and find the strength to focus, not only on our individual health, but on our collective, communal, and national health.   

Our most fundamental goal in the Nursery School is to raise caring young citizens. Our days with children are spent scaffolding their ability to solve problems with words, to attend to one another’s feelings with care, and to invest their hearts and minds in making their classroom communities and their world better. I have great hope for the future of our country and our world, because I have the privilege of spending my days immersed in the voices of a rising generation and witnessing their compassion. 

But we cannot wait to hand the world over to them. We owe our children better than the violence and profound rupture that we witnessed today and have been witnessing for too long. It was particularly heartbreaking to look upon this day through parental eyes. We want so deeply to be able to show our children a world they can fall in love with and be inspired by.

Hannah Arendt said that, as adults, we must love the world enough to bring children into it, while at the same time taking responsibility for the world as it is, including all that is broken and ugly. It is hard to do this tonight. But there is no better reminder of our obligations, or of the tremendous hope that remains, than looking into the eyes of our children and seeing the love, wonder, and trust that they reflect back at us. 

So I am reading the words of the poet Elizabeth Alexander tonight, holding fast to the promise that accompanies struggle, to better days ahead, and to our responsibility to row with all our might toward that hope. 

“Praise song for struggle, praise song for the day.
Praise song for every hand-lettered sign,
the figuring-it-out at kitchen tables.

Some live by love thy neighbor as thyself,
others by first do no harm or take no more
than you need. What if the mightiest word is love?

Love beyond marital, filial, national,
love that casts a widening pool of light,
love with no need to pre-empt grievance.

In today’s sharp sparkle, this winter air,
any thing can be made, any sentence begun.
On the brink, on the brim, on the cusp,

praise song for walking forward in that light.”


The JCC is planning an interfaith vigil to take place this Friday at 3:00 p.m. We will share more information on this soon. 

Tonight, may we all hold our children close and muster the strength to continue walking forward together toward a future that reflects the kind of citizenship they practice at school each day and deserve from us.  

In strength, commitment, and hope,
Alicia Stoller

A Note from Alicia & Roxana: Sharing the Mic

Dear Nursery Families, 

It was wonderful to have so many of you join us for our Parent Groups this week and especially fun to see your children back online this morning for our first Summer Shabbat Sing! 

As we continue to think about the role of race and equity in our communities and especially in our conversations with children, this week I am "sharing the mic" with my brilliant friend and colleague, Roxana Reid, by turning over my Friday note to her. Roxana is deeply insightful about the role of education in children's lives. She holds degrees in Social Work and in Law, and she is the founder of the extremely successful educational consulting company Smart City Kids. She has been a professional guidepost to me, and I know you will be inspired by her as well. 

I also encourage you to spend time listening to some of the other amazing conversations that have taken place this week as a result of shared platforms. As a start, I found this conversation between Dr. Yaba Blay and Tarana Burke particularly thought provoking, engaging, and complex (stay until the end to hear their honest exchange about children and education). 

And now, it is a privilege to turn my mic over to Roxana.

A Note from Roxana Reid

"Education is for improving the lives of others and for leaving your community and world better than you found it."
~Marian Wright Edelman


Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness – the signature phrase that became a beacon of hope for my family when we lived in what was then a Military Dictatorship in Panama. The words resonated so deeply, compelling us to seek those promised freedoms in this country with the unwavering belief that in The United States of America, the most primal human needs would be within our reach.

I have not been to my home country in many years, but the events of the last few months have been steeped in eerie familiarity.  Anxiety, uncertainty, isolation, lack of equity and the inevitable need for humans to break free of oppressive systems that threaten their ability to live with liberty and in pursuit of happiness.

Education is an engine for hope – or the potential for hope. It is the reason why I am optimistic about our future, no matter how bleak these times may seem. Education is the space where everyone can dream of the limitless possibilities to find joy and pursue passions with the freedom that brings life to everything that we do.

As Founder of Smart City Kids, and mother to two beautiful African American boys, daughter, sister, cousin, friend and woman of Afro Caribbean roots, the events of the last few weeks have been painful. From lack of access to COVID-19 care, the isolation of social distancing, the economic uncertainty impacting the vast majority of Americans and finally, the collective call to action we are witnessing on a global scale reveals a great need to shift the trajectory of our experiences in hopes of a better tomorrow. 

Friends to whom I have never spoken to about my private pain and fears as a mother, now ask me about that pain, seeking to be educated.  It is a sobering reminder that education, listening to one another’s experiences and stories leads to a fuller understanding of the world around us. This learning is foundational to many and is as important as the bricks and mortar that we leverage to educate students in classrooms. Education is access. Education paves the way to equity. Education, ultimately, is power. This is the power that fuels the pursuit of happiness and with as few barriers and restrictions as possible with as little harm to others as humanly possible.

At Smart City Kids our mission is to direct students to find their place in the world. We take great care to clarify best educational fit so that students will ultimately self-actualize in whatever way joy and happiness manifests itself in their future. We are committed to helping the broadest range of students pursue educational options that are ideally suited to their learning styles and we commit to increasing our number of pro-bono services and offering workshops and guidance to even more communities on the margins of this hope and promise for a better future.

Our newsletter is a tool we designed to offer up information, access and resources. This month, we look at resources for students and families of all ages, from Early Childhood to College that encompass, academic, social, physical and mental wellness tools that may be useful to your family as we stand here, witnesses to history. We stand as parents, educators, siblings, children and allies to those seeking a more perfect union. We start, where all stories of hope begin, with planting the seeds of change.

EDUCATIONAL RESOURCES FOR FAMILIES IN COMPLEX TIMES
 As families grapple with not just the pandemic but with how to discuss the complex topics of systemic racism and social justice with their children, we have culled some of our favorite resources to share with you: 

TEACHING TOLERANCE is a site geared to educators featuringlesson plans and classroom activities. 

NYPL offers up a wealth of information that is readily accessible and has a robust set of tools not just tied to literacy but also age specific learning. 

The Child Mind Institute remains a go to resource for the emotional well being of children and their families. Their expansive articles and topics give clear and actionable guidance on how to support children who are coping with trauma. 

Sesame Street/CNN hosted a family Town Hall Coming Together: Standing up to Racism on June 6th addressing racism and how we talk about it as a community, the program is remains available for viewing. 

Haymarket Books is hosting an online teach-in on June 18th entitled Raising AntiRacist Kids: Ibram X. Kendi with Derecka Purnell 

Thank you for listening. 
Shabbat shalom,
Alicia

A Note from Alicia: Gratitude, Love, & Hope

Dear Families, 

Gratitude, Love, & Hope

The end of the school year always feels like a swirl of emotions for children, teachers, and parents. Just as the beginning of the year is often marked by a mix of excitement and trepidation, the end of the year brings us to a similar precipice. We celebrate children’s growth and the now firm bonds of classroom communities that didn’t exist only nine months ago. At the same time we navigate the emotions that come with goodbyes and with stepping forward into the new, once again. 

It goes without saying that this year our emotions are all much more complex and much closer to the surface. Parenting at any time is filled with moments of incredible, swelling joy as well as moments of anxiety. Sending our children out into the world is like releasing our own heart to travel outside of ourselves. Raising children is among the most vulnerable and most courageous acts of faith and hope. All of this is true even when we have the usual rhythms of our lives to keep us moving and to structure the dance of embracing and letting go, embracing and letting go, again and again, that defines parenthood. Since March, we have been doing this dance seemingly in the midst of a hurricane. 

Throughout this year, but most notably during the storm of the recent months, parents and teachers have held children and each other with love, with courage, and with fortitude. We have all found completely new ways of helping children to learn and to feel safe, and our work at home and at school has merged, as the structures that usually keep aspects of life discrete have fallen away. Our children are suddenly at work with us, and our colleagues are in our living rooms. Though we are physically apart, there is a powerful intimacy to looking into each other’s homes, sitting in on our children’s classes, and relating to one another through constant close-ups on the screen each day. This experience could easily have shattered our sense of community, relegating each of us to our own isolated corners. Instead, we have shared our homes with each other and supported children in incredible tandem. I’ve rarely experienced end-of-year meetings and class parties in which not only parents but teachers’ emotions were so raw and so close to the surface. Everything is palpable for all of us right now, our gratitude, our exhaustion, our pride, our fear, and our joy. Perhaps that is the most remarkable feature of community—that even in the midst of so many challenges, there can still be joy, for a particularly unique feeling surfaces when we are in pain but closely held. We are apart in a way we have never been before, but we are not alone. That is a testament to the determination, care, and generosity of every member of our community.  

As we sang together this morning, and as our families’ voices came together with voices from across the country in our shared video project, we were reminded that our community here in New York is only one pocket of a much wider community, and just as we all have the collective power to bring our voices together into something stronger and more beautiful, we also have the power to invite others into our songs and to expand the embrace of our community. Two of the core values that guide our teaching are Betzelem Elohim and tikkun olam. We believe deeply in seeing the divine in every child and in repairing the ruptures that occur when we fail to care for one another out of this firm belief in the innate value of each individual.

You have all cared for each other with such determination this spring, as we have faced unprecedented challenges. I am so proud of each of our teachers and parents for this tremendous act of love. 

We must now reach outward with the same determination and generosity toward those who are not sufficiently embraced and held up by our world. We must hold them up. For if it is possible for us to be so united as a community, even when we cannot be together, then it is possible to hold those who most need us with that same tenacity.

As our JCC family, our city, and our world continue to be buffeted by so many strong winds, the winds of illness and the winds of injustice, we are committed to continuing to support you in caring for each other and your children, and in learning how to more powerfully extend that support and care to everyone who needs it. 

As we announced this morning at Shabbat Sing, we will continue to come together each Friday for Summer Shabbat Sings. It has become so clear in these last few months how significantly the fabric of our community is held together and our spirits are bolstered by these regular opportunities to sing together.  

We will also continue to offer parent support events. This coming week, we invite you to three events, encompassing the range of critical topics we are all facing: 

  • On Tuesday, June 9th at 8:00 P.M., join us for “Pediatric Medicine & Concerns during COVID-19” with Dr. Anthoney Lim, Director of Pediatric Emergency Medicine for the Mount Sinai Health System. As we enter the long tail of the impact of COVID-19, many of us are wondering what life and parenting will be like in the coming year. Dr. Lim will lead a discussion for parents on questions like: What does it look and feel like to visit the ER or your pediatrician during this time? When and how should we use telemedicine? How do we speak to kids and to each other about COVID-19? What are the signs of stress to look for in our children? If you would like to submit a question in advance, feel free to fill out THIS form. 

  • On Wednesday, June 10th at 8:30 P.M. The Center for Family Life will host a second conversation with Jean Schreiber, Yael Khan Pinto, and Rabbi Abigail Treu on the many parenting issues that are keeping us all up and night these days. Register HERE.     

  • On Thursday, June 11th at 8:30 P.M., join me and Jean Schreiber to begin a conversation on talking to our children about racism. We will support each other in talking about the fears that stop us from broaching this critical topic with our children and the ways in which we can begin to find the entry points that will open the door to their growing understanding over time. 

We are also in the process of planning other opportunities to invite your children back into the comfort of their JCC learning environment over the summer. We will be in touch with more information on this soon and look forward to continuing to hold our community connections strong over the course of the months to come.

With gratitude, love, and hope,
Alicia