Dear Nursery School Families,
As we’ve all watched the terrifying events unfold at Congregation Beth Israel in Texas this weekend, I find myself struck, as a parent and a teacher, by how relentlessly we seem to be called to carry our children through a frightening world – to somehow raise them to be hopeful and courageous when it can seem endlessly challenging to hold onto those values ourselves.
Parenting demands hope, not only for our children’s sake but for our own. We have to be able to hold onto the belief that we can heal the world, at least a little bit, before we must ask our children to let go of our hands and navigate it themselves. And we have to believe that they are capable of continuing that work of repair, so that we can feel we are moving toward something brighter ahead. Parenting, after all, is an act of love – love for our children and love for the world we have chosen to bring them into.
We’ve been immersed over the past two years in the constant buzzing anxiety of an ongoing pandemic, punctuated by moments of heartbreaking violence. We seem at times to be suspended in a state of perpetual fragility. It is hard to guide our children through the world each day when we feel so fragile ourselves.
The parenting wisdom most commonly cited in these moments is the simple advice Mr. Rogers’ mother gave him when he was young and the world seemed scary. She said, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” Yet, as we have to draw upon these words again and again, it sometimes feels hard to find sufficient solace in them. It feels sometimes like all the help just isn’t enough. And yet we were reminded powerfully today, by both the rescue of the hostages and the rising tide of love and solidarity from communities far beyond Texas, that these words still hold profound strength, for our children and for us. Not only did over 200 local, state, and federal responders ultimately rescue the hostages and restore safety, but communities around the world rose up with messages of support and vigil.
I found myself thinking today of the father in Paris, who reassured his son, in the wake of violence, by explaining that all the flowers and candles being laid down by strangers were protective. The little boy recognized that flowers and candles were not more powerful than guns, and yet he was reassured nonetheless, as we all are, because these symbols, and the magnitude of their offering, remind us that we are not alone, that there is always strength in coming together, and that we can always create light in darkness. As we light candles with our children each week on Shabbat, as well as in moments of fear, we remind ourselves of this and of how very bright the light becomes when so many candles are lit at once.
When the children’s author, Kate DiCamillo, contemplated the power of Charlotte’s Web to draw young readers in again and again, despite the story’s sadness, she said:
"I have tried for a long time to figure out how E.B. White did what he did, how he told the truth and made it bearable…the only answer I could come up with was love. E.B. White loved the world. And in loving the world, he told the truth about it – its sorrow, its heartbreak, its devastating beauty. He trusted his readers enough to tell them the truth, and with that truth came comfort and a feeling that we were not alone."
And isn’t this exactly what we are asked to do as parents – to continue to love the world in all its heartbreak and all its beauty and to remind ourselves and our children that they are not alone, that somehow there is always hope and reason for gratitude, as long as we continue to come together to offer help and comfort.
As the children come to school each day, they come into a community filled with helpers, from the security officers who work tirelessly to keep them safe, to the teachers in their classrooms who guide them through their toughest questions and biggest feelings, to the friends who gather around to wipe their tears and lend a hand when they are sad or angry. They go home each day to families that love them and parents who rock them in the middle of the night when they are afraid. And each day, as our children are surrounded by all these helpers and empowered to be helpers themselves, the world is made bearable, and we all heal a little.
Please join us in community prayer, reflection, and healing this afternoon at 5:30 PM by clicking here.
In peace and hope,
Alicia