Dear Nursery Families,
Holding Each Other from Afar
I began this school year at Parent Orientation by speaking about the idea that “grit” might actually have more to do with empathy, care, and community than with individual toughness. The moment that we are all living through right now has made this idea of finding strength in community, rather than in our individual resources, feel even more true and necessary. We have all been faced with an enormous challenge on every level—both physical and emotional, individual and collective. And yet, in every facet of life, I have been so inspired by the overwhelming spirit of community and goodwill that has emerged. From the team here at the JCC, including our incredible Nursery staff, to our parents, to the network of educators far and wide all rowing together to create new modes of learning, it has been a deeply moving and hopeful week, despite all that we are faced with. A collective spirit of care has emerged through an experience that could easily make us all feel overwhelmed and alone. Ironically, as we’ve been forced to isolate ourselves physically, we have come together with even greater commitment to our shared needs and our relationships.
The journalist Jill Suttie wrote powerfully this week of research showing that in times of crisis, when we might expect people to become more self focused, they are in fact likely to act in highly empathetic and altruistic ways. She says:
"Reports on the aftermath of natural disasters show that strangers will stick out their necks for each other to help. While it’s true that sometimes disasters can lead to a minority taking advantage of the situation—for example, stealing people’s possessions when they have to leave their house—this is not a common response, much as it grabs headlines. Instead, when we face a common enemy, like an epidemic, we are more likely to pull together for the benefit of everyone."
She goes on to explain that appealing to altruism is, according to the research, a stronger motivator than appealing to self-interest. I have experienced this in every aspect of my work with our community this week. This is why it was so moving to watch nearly 100 families join our online Shabbat Sing this morning and find joy in gathering together virtually when we couldn’t be together physically. Paul says:
Dear JCC Family -
This morning was the first gig I've been nervous for in years! With the weight of everything that happened yesterday in particular, I felt like I had to deliver something special. As a father of two boys who sort of understand what's going on but also are still very innocent, I remembered back to the days of having toddlers and everything became perfectly clear to me - Just Have Fun.
As soon as I saw families logging in early, I felt right at ease like I do in the common space. So I want to thank all of you (kids, parents, caregivers, and of course, teachers) for joining and making this morning what it was - magical and inspiring. We are planning to do this again, so think of more requests!
Thank you all once more. I look forward to seeing you again soon.
Sincerely,
Paul
As the medical advice increasingly urges us to distance ourselves and limit our points of physical contact as much as possible, we hope that these online touch points will help everyone feel less alone and will make it easier to do all we can to protect both neighbors and strangers alike from increased exposure. To that end, while we know that the strong bonds in our school community make it tempting to arrange group gatherings and play-dates, we want to emphasize that the medical experts we are communicating with are increasingly clear about the need to reduce these in person interactions. We know this poses both emotional and logistical challenges, as we all struggle to navigate our families’ needs under a great deal of strain, and in particular that childcare is a concern for many. To the extent possible, we encourage you to try to limit these in person get togethers to those that are essential in meeting the practical requirements of your family, and allow us to help you facilitate a feeling of social connection, when physical contact is not essential to your day. We are in the process of gathering more advice and resources for families on both the medical guidelines and how to manage all of this for your family, which we will share next week.
There is much that is uncertain in the days to come, but one thing I am sure of is that we will continue to get better and better and holding each other from afar. As we head into next week, we will be in touch with an increasing variety of opportunities for connection, learning, and community support. For now, I wish you a peaceful shabbat.
We began our day singing together, and I invite you to end your day singing with us as well.
Shabbat shalom,
Alicia