Dear Families,
Making Space for Rest and Wonder
“Come, rest awhile, and let us idly stray
In glimmering valleys, cool and far away.
Come from the greedy mart, the troubled street,
And listen to the music, faint and sweet,
That echoes ever to a listening ear,
Unheard by those who will not pause to hear.”
~Lucy Maud Montgomery
I remember my dad noting, when I was a child, that he recalled feeling perplexed when he was a little boy by the fact that his parents always seemed more harried on holidays and during vacations than at any other time, whereas he found these experiences to be a magical, relaxing respite. Why would adults possibly find a “break” stressful? Hearing this comment as a child myself, I was equally perplexed. Now, as an adult and a parent, I completely understand! Creating meaningful traditions for our families is so important. But let’s be honest...It’s also often a lot of work. Additionally, we live in a culture in which it is increasingly difficult to put the many demands on our attention and time to the side. Turning our phones and message alerts off can feel more stressful at first, as we worry about what we might miss.
And yet we know how powerful and essential breaks are. When we step away from the constant bombardment of demands on our senses and our attention, we feel more connected to those we love, more connected to our own beliefs and values, and more fully ourselves. We also, often, return to our obligations following a break with a renewed sense of purpose and a fresh perspective that propels our work forward.
Spiritually, taking the time to pause reminds us of all we have to feel grateful for, even when our daily obligations may prompt us to feel more anxiety than gratitude. Neurologically, time away from a problem allows learning to be internalized so that memories can be retained and new knowledge can be meaningfully understood and made use of. Learning requires periods of consolidation to punctuate periods of acquisition and construction.
We practice taking these purposeful breaks with children each week as we bring the classroom tables together, dim the lights, and say the blessings over candles, juice, and challah. Shabbat reminds us that no matter how much the minutiae of the world presses upon us, it is necessary to make the time to pause and focus on what is most meaningful and important. It is often possible to see the children visibly relax and grow more centered as they come together for this experience each week. Chanukah reminds us to take this time together, in the warm glow of candles, for eight consecutive nights—an experience of patience and trust, as the light accumulates night by night. As we celebrate this act of rededication, we are also reminded that we have opportunities to reflect and rededicate ourselves to what matters most.
When I feel the pressure and pace of daily life closing in, I often think of this story about violinist Joshua Bell performing during rush hour in Washington, D.C., and I wonder if I would have been able to break through the fog and stress of my daily routines to find awe in this moment of unanticipated beauty. The author asks, “If the surge of modern life so overpowers us that we are deaf and blind to something like that—then what else are we missing?”
I hope, over the next few weeks, even if you may be rushing to do all of the things that will make the holiday and the vacation special for your children, or to keep up with the many other demands in your daily lives, that you will also find a few moments to step out of the adrenaline of the hustle and embrace the sense of wonder and respite that these days offer.
Our children quickly forget which gifts they received on which nights. But they remember the feeling of our full presence in their bones forever.
Shabbat shalom and Happy Chanukah!
Alicia